"I failed."​ Thoughts on Failure, Vulnerability, and Leadership.

“I failed my way to success.” Thomas Edison

I failed.

Big time.

I worked hard as a junior Air Force officer to get into military flight school. I disrupted my Air Force career path to attend Navigator training. I wanted to contribute more to the mission and wanted to be closer to the “action." So I sort of started over nearly four years into my Air Force career and began navigator training.

I wouldn’t last 6 months in the program. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I just couldn’t cut it in navigator training.

I was devastated.

It was a long path just to obtain my Air Force commission in the first place. I worked hard as an older college student to make up for lost time and entered my university’s ROTC program later than most. I did well there and continued doing good things as a junior officer early in my career. In starting navigator training I took the risk of getting released from the Air Force if I failed out of the program due to a period of downsizing in the service.

And sure enough…I failed.

I was embarrassed.

I lost my sense of self-worth.

And then…I got over it.

Ultimately, the Air Force did not kick me out. I was accepted to another selective career field which really helped my self-esteem. I made the most of that second chance and it has propelled me into other awesome opportunities. Most importantly, I learned a lot about myself during that time. I learned that failure exposes our weak spots and exploits misconceptions. This in turn provides us with information on how to tackle our next challenge.

When I found out I “washed out” of navigator training, my world seemed to end. I banked my whole professional adult life on becoming an Air Force officer and I thought I screwed that up.

Once I took a step back and thought about my values and how I could live them more fully, I was able to view the whole experience as a lesson. At the time, I didn’t recognize this as a values analysis, but now years later as a professional coach I have recognized it as such.

What I did understand at the time as an Air Force officer, was that leading was my primary role in the service, and if I couldn’t lead myself through a tough time how could I lead others?

I was ashamed initially after I washed out. I was reluctant to let even close friends back home know. Imposter syndrome crept into my thoughts and I began to question whether I had what it took to be a military officer.

Once I was accepted into yet again another selective Air Force career field, I began to examine some of my sour thoughts. This led to some healing, but it wasn’t until I embraced my flight school failure and shared it freely with others that my healing AND learning really began. Allowing myself to be vulnerable completed my healing process.

If you put yourself out there, get outside of your comfort zone, try new things, and confront challenging projects head-on, you WILL have failures. Once you understand that then you will be poised to learn from failures. Most importantly, you need to identify your values and strengths. This will cultivate resiliency and inform you as to whether you are on the right path despite your failure or whether you need to adjust your course.

Thomas Edison failed more times than he could count. According to reports, it took him nearly 3000 tries to invent the light bulb! Yet, his inventions changed the world, and he truly did fail his way to success!

Ultimately, embracing failure through vulnerability and understanding your values will provide you the foundation to lead others through tough times and strengthen your leadership skills. I hope you can reflect on some of your failures and see how they shaped who you are. Likewise, I also hope you are able to tackle the challenges ahead and understand that in many cases, failure IS an option. Experiencing failure will mold you into a stronger professional and leader.

If you would like to talk about any of your own personal stories regarding failure, vulnerability, and/or leadership please comment below. Thank you for your continued reading!