EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)--YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON IT!

“If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

-DANIEL GOLEMAN, EQ Thought Leader/Author

Society assigns importance to high IQ, understandably so. However, emotional intelligence or EQ is paid less attention. Without EQ, IQ won't get you far in the 21st century. The quote above by the modern EQ thought leader Daniel Goleman highlights how important EQ is for professional success.

During my time in government service and the private sector, I have experienced great leaders, poor leaders, and everyone in between as I’m sure most of you have. Early in my career, I couldn’t really pinpoint what intangible qualities were responsible for excellent leadership.

When I began my coaching journey a few years ago, I learned more about EQ, and how it is the foundation for leadership. It is also the foundation for professional success as Mr. Goleman implies.

I had a previous boss in an old job who demonstrated a high EQ as soon as she took over our team. (if you’re reading this, you know who you are!) What did she do to demonstrate emotional intelligence and help her team succeed?

She trusted her team and empowered us to do our job.

She asked good questions to help us find answers to challenges.

She supported professional development and understood what each team member needed for continued growth.

She connected well with others inside the organization and across organizational boundaries to find common ground and solutions with external stakeholders.

She supported her people through good AND bad times.

My former boss displayed high EQ.

Taking Daniel Goleman’s quote a step further, if you do not possess EQ, your organization will not get very far, especially if you’re a leader of the organization. With EQ, you will be a better critical thinker, and a stronger leader.

What can you do to develop EQ in yourself and in your team? EQ Can be cultivated through a few deliberate practices. You may already do some of these, but if you don’t, don’t worry. A will to develop EQ is all you need to start incorporating these skills into your toolkit:

1. Listen. Actively listen to what others are saying in every conversation you have. Help build awareness for others by sincerely processing what they are saying. That may be the best gift of the day that they receive from anyone! Listening is a common thread in developing EQ as you read through the other skills below.

2. Tap into your intuition. Pay attention to your underlying feelings. Reflect on past situations similar to what you are facing. Meditate on your feelings. Repeat the cycle. Eventually, you will become very comfortable with trusting your intuition!

3. Resiliency. This tool will help you weather tough times, stay upbeat, and be grateful. This will also have a positive effect on those around you. How? Practice gratitude. Reframe negative situations. Know your values and strengths. Others will want to open up to you eventually as you practice more and more resiliency skills.

4. Be self-aware and socially aware. Identify your values. Assess your impact on others. Also, as equally important, listen. Self-awareness involves not just listening to yourself, but also to those around you who will provide clues as to how you normally show up as a leader, colleague, and team member. This over time will make you more socially aware, which is key to understanding others and their behavior.

5. Empathize. Relate to others and seek to understand how and why others think the way they do. You can make strides here by simply getting to know others.

6. Leadership. This is the foundation for emotional intelligence. Leadership skills will enable you to take initiative and make the hard choices.

Some of you may possess many of these skills already. Others may need to strengthen these skills. Either way, these skills can be learned, which means EQ can be learned!

We can always improve these soft skills which are most important in our knowledge-based economy. Work at developing these skills and you will increase your EQ and ensure your organization’s success by enhancing your critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence.